story and photos by Kayte Deioma

After exploring the haunted halls and hearing about all the skeletons in the closet, the Queen Mary has one last secret to reveal. Tucked into a suite on the Main Deck right off the hotel elevator is the Queen Mary Spa, the perfect place to leave your tired feet in the hands of a pedicurist or have your luggage-burdened back massaged by one of the talented masseurs and masseuses. If you’ve got all day or just half an hour, you can treat yourself to a bit of royal pampering.

The ship’s original spa and Turkish baths were located near the first class swimming pool which can be seen on several different ship tours. A sign near the pool lists the spa services that were available in 1936. The location has changed. There are no Turkish baths. But a massage can still be had for a smidge more than the $1.90 charged in 1936. The infra-red treatment listed for $1.25 is now incorporated into the price of your facial.

I have never been to a spa. The closest I got was having a pedicure once at a nail salon and periodic therapeutic massage from physical therapists and acupuncturists in clinical settings. So, for the sake of research, I have to try out these treatments that managed to stay on the spa menu for 70 years. Both of these historical services are incorporated into the Queen’s Royal Secret, a luxurious hour-long facial followed by a half hour general body massage.

The smiling Jennifer greets me from behind her art deco glass counter in the gleaming wood-paneled reception area. Potted plants in the curtained portholes add a homey touch. A pitcher of water with strawberries and orange and cucumber slices stands invitingly on the counter. After filling out the requisite paperwork, Jennifer introduces me to Joseph Garcia, my “esthetician.” I wonder when they dropped the aesthetic a.

Next door, in another wood-paneled room, Joseph invites me to get “as comfortable as I want to be” under the sheet and towels provided and leaves me to it. I get as comfortable as I want under the sheet and bid him “enter” when he knocks. How regal of me. Soothing Native American flute music is playing in the background. From the first smooth of cleanser gliding whirls and swirls across my forehead and around my cheekbones, I am entranced. I ask Joseph to narrate the process, elucidating each texture as it is applied. This is, after all, research.

A steamer is directed at my face to open the pores. After two moisturizing cleansers, a gentle rice-based exfoliant…discovered by women working rice fields in Asia…and why do I need to remember this again? Oh yeah, research. A gentle massage of my face…hands…arms…shoulders with stress relief and toxin relief oil. All the stress is gone. In between layers I glean from Joseph that he has also done make-up for Pamela Anderson, LA Fashion Week, photographers and filmmakers, as well as visitors to the Queen’s Spa.

Hot towel. Painted on masks – two flavors at once. Eyes covered. Now comes the traditional infra-red lamp. Joseph brings something warm and heavy, smelling of oatmeal and places it over my already-covered eyes. …a few more moments and the weight is lifted. The darkness is peeled away. Another hot towel, then a spray of cool mist toner, hydrating booster, moisturizer, sunscreen, protective sealer to keep the pollutants at bay… As the last layer is smoothed over my skin, I am thinking…this is the best hour of work I have ever accomplished. And there’s more to come…

Joseph hands me a robe to change into to cross the hall to the massage room where Michael Mata is waiting to give me my 30 minute body massage. We determine that the most practical use of our 30 minutes together is to work on getting the kinks out of my typing and camera-carrying shoulder through a combination of massage techniques, mostly Swedish with some therapeutic spot massage.

An afternoon well spent.

I’ll have to watch the weather forecast and come back and try the Queen’s Royal Bath or a Royal Body Polish the next time it rains. The Queen Mary Spa has a variety of beauty and wellness professionals available by appointment. If you just want to be pampered and aren’t particular, you can stop by and take your chances with whatever treatment happens to be available. Special bridal packages are also available.

    Hours of operation:
    Tuesday through Thursday - 12 noon to 6 p.m.
    Friday and Saturday - 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
    Sunday - 12 noon to 3 p.m.
    www.QueenMarySpa.com